Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Got Mittens?

As David Letterman tells us:
if 'Newt' is short for 'Newton', then 'Mitt' is short for ________.

"Corporations are people ..." —Mitt Romney to a heckler at the Iowa State Fair (August 2011)

  • "I like being able to fire people who provide services to me." –Mitt Romney (January 2012)
  • "I'm not concerned about the very poor." —Mitt Romney (January 2012)
  • "I get speaker's fees from time to time, but not very much." —Mitt Romney, $374,000 in one year
  • "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." —Mitt Romney, speaking in 2011 to unemployed people in Florida.

  • "Mitt Romney just released a new campaign ad about the economy featuring out-of-work Americans. It gets weird at the end when he says, 'I'm Mitt Romney, and I fired all these people.'" –Jimmy Fallon
  • "Mitt Romney pledged this week (that) if elected president, he will drive down unemployment to 6% or lower before the end of his first term. Well, it's easy enough to do; all he has to do is re-hire the people he already fired." –Jay Leno

  • "Do you know the difference between a Mitt Romney bus and Mitt Romney car? The bus has a greyhound on the side." –Bill Maher
  • "Why did Mitt Romney strap his dog to the roof of his car? Could it be because his station wagon was full of wives?" –Bill Maher
  • "There is something indicative about his character because it seems like Mitt Romney was kind of a bully. This was not the only bullying thing he did. He also took poor kids' lunch money – oh, I'm sorry, that's his present-day economic policy." –Bill Maher
  • "Today Mitt Romney visited a firehouse here in New York City. Of course, he was disappointed when he learned that the firehouse is not where you get to fire people." –Jimmy Fallon
  • “My opponent isn’t pro-choice or anti-choice, he’s multiple choice.” —Senator Edward Kennedy 1994 Senate Campaign
  • “Well, I think you hit a reset button for the fall campaign. Everything changes. It's almost like an Etch A Sketch. You can kind of shake it up and we start all over again.”– Eric Fehrnstrom, current Romney campaign adviser

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