literary parody

"It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents, except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness." — Edward George Bulwer-Lytton. Paul Clifford. 1830.

There are competitions for aspiring writers to poke fun at writing. Three parodies that have been recently active mock Hemingway, Faulkner, and overwritten sentences. Hemingway and Faulkner are very distinctive on the page. They both have their avid partisans.

In high school, we had to hand in reports on writers and their books. I went to the main branch of the public library, used the card catalogue, and searched the shelves. For William Faulkner, there were several books written in German, and in French. Of the several writers, that, i researched this was the only one that was so interesting to foreign language readership.

The book the class was all assigned to read was, "As I Lay Dying". The other book i read was, "The Sound and the Fury". My essay concerned Vardaman Bundren and Benjy Compson. The thesis was that they were literary idiots, and not clinical ones.

I thought the name "Vardaman" odd. There is no Saint Vardaman, there is no Hollywood Vardaman. Where did he get Vardaman? James Vardaman was governor of Mississippi (1904-08), and US Senator (1913-19). He was the candidate of poor whites, and a white supremacist. He was wont to speak in colorful, strong, and vile, vulgar terms. As governor he said, "If it is necessary every Negro in the state will be lynched; it will be done to maintain white supremacy." But Vardaman delivered and promised much as a populist, and progressive. “Jesus Christ, Sears-Roebuck and James K. Vardaman are the only friend a poor man has”, was said by many a white Mississippian. The character, Vardaman Bundren, was so named as an illustration of how some 'rednecks (it was a self-identifying political term at the time)' looked up to the politician, and to mark the character as mentally flawed.

Over the years, from 1989-2005, University of Mississippi ran the Faux Faulkner contest. After a time, it and the older Hemingway contest was sponsored by United Airlines, which printed the winners in their in flight magazine. The last Faulkner winner was not printed, though available, at the time, on the internet. The winning entry by Sam Apple was The Administration and the Fury. The Benjy character was substituted by gwbjr.

'Go and get him Saddam's gun,' Condi said. 'You know how he likes to hold it.'
Dick went to my desk drawer and took out Saddam's gun. He gave it to me, and it was hot in my hands. Rummy pulled the gun away.

The Bad Hemingway contest began in a California saloon in 1977. Every year 'one really good page of really bad Hemingway' was sought for. International Imitation Hemingway Competition and the Faux Faulkner contests are in suspension. In the later years the winners were announced in the fourth week of July.

The still active contest has expanded to cover several genres and categories. The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest began in 1982 at San Jose State University.

Faulkner had long meandering sentences where many readers got lost. He wrote of southern decay. Hemingway had none of that. Both won Nobel prizes. Hemingway's Old Man and the Sea is written in very simple sentences. Much of his earlier work was considered ultra-macho. Bulwer-Lytton was the example of wordy, over florid, purple prose to the point of distraction, overly descriptive nineteenth century writing. His novels were received well, upon issuance, but a century later dismissed by current taste. Each style was easy to imitate and snigger at. Bulwer-Lytton is not an awful writer, but a presently mockable author. Remember, the worst writer in English is Ayn Rand; and John Dewey is extra-ordinarily difficult, and he wrote non-fiction.

Charles Schulz went beyond the childhood cute of his Peanuts gang, and touched on other subjects. Linus was a religious philosopher at times. Snoopy was a Walter Mitty dreamer. He cruised the air above the warfields of France in a Sopwith Camel. He, Woodstock, and his buddies are French Legionnaires. At other times he mounted his doghouse becoming the great, undiscovered author. Time, after time, he types, "It was a dark and stormy night".

Here is a Dishonorable Mention in this year's Crime category:

Bishop threw back the shot of bourbon and reflected on his career as a private dick, a profession he always thought of as perfect for a man named Richard who kept to himself and was often unkind to others. — Jon Maddalena of Mesick, Michigan. 2012.