Friday, October 17, 2014

Pity the abused Republican

Vinny Minchillo makes money advertising. He made money on the successful Romney campaign. But he is thin skinned when people disapprove of Republicans. He has recently created an advertising campaign, “Republicans Are People Too”. He has a minute and an half commercial with pictures of people, who supposedly do things, and are people, whom, the world does not see as typical Republicans. Well of course, none of the people are really witnesses; they are all images of stock photos. Rarely are any people really what they are portrayed as in Republican commercials (truth in advertising is not their thing). The funniest one, has an ersatz Republican claiming to read the New York Times, the model is holding the Wall Street Journal.

Little Vinny had his feelings hurt when he read unkind comments about Republicans. “It’s become socially acceptable to talk about Republicans in the most evil terms possible and that doesn’t seem right. We wanted to do this to really remind people that Republicans are friends, neighbors and do things that maybe you wouldn’t expect them to do.” So, this is his version of a Shylock pity speech.

“I am a Republican. Hath not a Republican eyes? Hath not a Republican hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?”

Vinny is working on the assumption, that, people do not see Republicans as regular people. Again, bringing in the Bard, “The lady protests too much, methinks.”

Our Little Dumpling, had a twitter campaign to go with this,  #IAmARepublican. Baby Dumpling doesn't seem to understand that by opening up access to the public at large, and not his own inventions, different results come to pass:

  • I am stupid, evil, and utterly devoid of humanity! 
  • I can't win an election unless I cheat
  • My last president went to war for no reason
  • Corporate welfare: Good. Human welfare: Bad.
  • so I think it should be much easier to buy a vote, and much more difficult to cast one
  • because science is just a money-making scam, but oil companies have no financial incentive to lie about climate change.
  • because minorities & liberals are only poor because of their own choices. White conservatives are poor because of immigrants
  • because I believe in personal responsibility. Which is why I blame Obama, liberals, blacks, and feminists for everything.
  • because I don't know that extreme patriotism, racism, corporatism & unwavering obedience to authority is basically fascism.
  • because no matter how much evidence disproves something Ill keep saying it.
  • because I'm not a doctor or a scientist, but I still think my opinion is better than your facts. 
  • because I believe in a Christian nation. Just,y'no,not the part about helping the poor & loving one another without judgment
  • because the currently low gas prices have nothing to do with Obama. He only controls gas prices when they go up. Duh.
  • b/c I'm too lazy to start thinking about why we blame people with three jobs for being so lazy that they're poor.
  • because I want to put the "white" back in White House. And if you think that makes me a racist, then you're the REAL racist.
  • because when white people form militias, it's patriotic, but black people who buy air rifles need to be killed immediately
  • Why, yes, my tattoos include swastikas

“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself.”
― Harry S. Truman

No comments:

Post a Comment